Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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