He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
