So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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