she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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