I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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