That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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