You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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