Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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