If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
