I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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