remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
