I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize