I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
