im holly from the hills drunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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