remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
