hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
