none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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