I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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