I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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