You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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