id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
