nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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