the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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