so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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