You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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