Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
