Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize