Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
