it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
