I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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