Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
