Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
