What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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