If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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