It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
