Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
