hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
