What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
