Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
