How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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