smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
