Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
