We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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