shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
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Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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