She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
