I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
