One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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