Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
