I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
