apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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