I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Girls should come with a carfax report
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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