Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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