When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Couch. On fire.
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