Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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