I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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