She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
