His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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