he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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