u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
