i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
