the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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